The Untold Love

​The love of her life had left her in a way she had never ever expected. She was never so disheartened before. Her tears were no more the tears of love; those were the tears sweeping away every moment she had spent with him, the moments that were so precious to her that she had noted down every single happening between him and her. He had fled away without even letting her know, to USA for his abroad studies. The least he could have done was send a text.

She went through the diary where she had written down every moment spent with him. And she could find those lovely moments where both of them had talked about their future. As lovely as it was back then, even more heart-breaking it became for her now. The heart-breaking future where both of them had a career together; both engineers. The heart-breaking future where she would giggle with him in the cafeteria of the college that they had always planned to attend together.

She shook her head in despair that they had never actually gotten a chance to be together for long enough. But still those moments hit her like a squalling wind hits a tree in a stormy day. She remembers the story of a boy and girl where they would look high in the sky and talk about riding the fairy horse and spread the fragrance of love. She regrets she never managed enough time to be with him and talk about her feelings, and share the dreams of being together, of being in love.

She reads the next page which makes her even more sad as she blames herself for all the missed chances and mistakes that led to this day, where being together is no more possible. The love of her life had left. The page read - He came near to me, asked me about my love life. Oh, I was blushing. I was too shy to confess but the only thing I said was "It's not my thing.” She sees the words scrambled. Why wouldn't they be? The tears had fallen down, probably the only way she could ever ease her pain. She regrets not confessing the love she had for him. "Oh pity me, the love of my life had come to me to express his feelings for me and I turned out to be so stupid." She puts her eyes on the picture that she had of him in the very next page. This time, she doesn't blame herself but instead feels pity on him. She realized he had always loved her back but was never courageous enough to confess his love to her directly. He could have come to her with a message of love instead of asking about her love life. And she says to herself "Phew! I can't get a hint, can I?"

She doesn't even understand what love was for him. He would come near to her, blabber for a while and leave. And it would be once in a blue moon. But still, one could read his face, he obviously had feelings for her. The question which hit her every time was, why? He would message her weirdly, but that too was once in a blue moon and the chat wouldn’t last more than 5 minutes. She would say every happening to her best friend. And her best friend would make a laugh about this weird kind of love that they had. She named it "The Untold Love", the love that was never expressed but everyone, including them both, knew about its existence.

She realizes how it could have been difficult for him to talk to her just like how impossible it was for her to talk to him. The only way she could console herself was letting it be inside the heart and enjoy the untold love. The untold love that didn't have all the complications of a relationship. The untold love that never risked losing it all.

She feels useless turning more pages in the diary. With a faint smile, she writes, “The meaning of love is best learnt when you feel it every moment but is never expressed, waiting for that perfect moment", and hides the diary in her closet.

She looks out of her window, sees the stars twinkling and an airplane following its own destination, carrying the dreams of hundreds of people, and flying with it the loved ones of hundreds of people.

Amrit Poudel is an undergraduate student at the University of Mississippi double majoring in Computer Science and Mathematics. The author of "Hidden Smile from a Veil", Amrit is the Program Co-ordinator of InterCOM.

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